Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Gluten Free Cheezy Crackers

I haven't had a Cheez-It (TM) in four freakin' years. Lest you think that's no big deal, try going four years without your favorite snack cracker. You'll find yourself at parties, sobbing at the canape table, because you want a handful of those damn Cheez-Its so badly... and yet you know if you eat them - hell, if you eat just ONE - you're going to end up in a fetal position on the floor, with abdominal cramping and vomiting all over those cute new shoes you just got at Kohl's. Cheez-Its, for someone who is gluten intolerant, are like Kryptonite. That which we love can kill us make us very very ill.

Until now.

I found a recipe over at Gluten Free in the City, adapted it a little,  and within about half an hour, I was sighing over a handful of snack crackers like a nine-year-old girl sighs over a Justin Bieber song.

First, here's Britt's original recipe for Cheez Bits.

I changed things up a bit, because I don't really love the taste of millet flour, and so I never have any on hand. Also, I love me some sharp cheddar, so I used that. The sharper, the better. Oh, and I added a smidge of garlic salt, just because you can never go wrong with garlicky goodness.

Gluten Free Cheezy Crackers:

1/2 C gluten free baking mix (I used the King Arthur brand)
1/4 C brown rice flour
1/4 C tapioca flour
1/4 tsp xanthan gum
1/2 tsp Kosher salt
1/4 tsp garlic salt
12 oz grated sharp cheddar
1/2 stick cold unsalted butter, diced
3 Tbs cold water

Preheat your oven to 350, and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Throw all your flours, the xanthan gum, the Kosher salt and the garlic salt into the bowl of your food processor. If you don't have a food processor, go get one. Mine is a zillion years old, was my mom's a long time ago, and kicks total ass. Pulse the food processor a few times to mix up your flours.

 Add the grated cheese and the butter chunks. Pulse until everything is mixed together and kind of grainy looking. Add the water, 1 tablespoon at a time, and blend until you've got a big ball of dough. Cover the ball in plastic wrap, and chill in the fridge for half an hour.

Roll out your dough until it's about 1/4" thick - you might want to split your dough in half if you work slowly, and keep the part you're not using in the fridge.

Use a pizza cutter to cut the flattened dough into strips, and then go the other way to make squares. I used a bamboo skewer to make a dimple in the middle of mine, just because it looked cute and didn't take very long. Use a spatula to slide your dough squares onto the baking sheet. If you use all the dough, you'll get about 13 dozen 1" square crackers.

Bake at 350 for about 15 minutes, or until the crackers crisp up on the edges. When they come out of the oven, sprinkle lightly with some more Kosher salt and allow them to cool completely.

Then, eat them, and swoon like you mean it, because these are effin' amazing.

In theory, you probably shouldn't eat them all in one sitting, so store them in an airtight container in your pantry. Label them "liver and onion cookies" so the rest of your family will stay the hell away from them.


  1. OMG, they look awesome! I was just thinking last night that I needed to ask how they turned out. I can see that they turned out way better than the alternative I offered! LOL! These even look like Cheez Its!

  2. You know what the best part was? As soon as I nibbled the raw dough I knew they were going to be awesome. Really, you don't even have to bake them. You can just hole up with a spoon and a cheezy dough glob.