asSo last week's Monday Mancandy honor went to David Beckham, but that was only because I hadn't watched television the night before, and didn't know about the whole 'we killed Osama bin Laden' thingie until like Monday afternoon. So in honor of the folks who made that happen, today is our special Gods Bless America edition of Monday Mancandy, in which we salute the Navy SEALS.
Why They're Hawt: Everyone knows a man in uniform is sexy, but a man in uniform who risks his life to do the jobs no one else is qualified to do? Sexy! In addition to looking good, Navy SEALs are responsible for pulling off some pretty impressive missions in the past - it's a club that not just anyone can get into, and those who do, are really hardcore. Here's what I imagine a Navy SEAL's dayplanner looks like:
- 5 a.m. Light breakfast, do some calisthenics
- 6 a.m. Put on cool sunglasses and black shirt, look sexy
- 7 a.m. Get dropped into some foreign country on a dangerous mission, kill bad guys, save the world
- 1 p.m. Call mom to say hello, stop somewhere for a sandwich
- 2 p.m. Back to the beach to play volleyball
Bonus Hawt Points: Remember that creeper ex-boyfriend that won't stop calling and sits outside your house at night? A Navy SEAL could kill him using a rubber band and a piece of chewing gum. And no one would ever find the body. Plus, they're probably good to have on your side when you're playing HALO Reach.
Downsides: You can't date a Navy SEAL because they disappear a lot in the middle of the night, and then when they come home, you can't ask where they've been. They could tell you, but then they'd have to kill you.
Total Mancandy Percentage: 95%
* The Total Mancandy Percentage of selected subjects is chosen by a highly scientific formula, as follows:
(Why He's Hawt) + (Bonus Hawt Points)
÷(Would I Kick Him Out of Bed if He Talked)