So recently I’ve been reading about all the bad things in microwave popcorn. I’m a huge fan of the stuff, and I snack on it three or four times a week. It’s by far my favorite snack food, and keeps me away from cookies and potato chips. It’s also laden with, as reports are showing, all kinds of really bad shit that causes really bad things to happen if you consume it in mass quantities - which, one could say, four times a week might be.
And it’s not just that delicious buttery topping that’s bad - it’s the linings of the bags themselves. Apparently the stuff used to keep the oil from seeping through the paper releases, when microwaved, deadly toxic fumes that then SEEP INTO YOUR POPCORN.
Recently an article about this very topic was posted in one of the Facebook groups I belong to, and another poster commented that she and her family made popcorn in paper bags just to eliminate all the non-organic icky crap that’s in the bags. I was immediately intrigued - partly because of the healthy aspect of it, and partly because I spend a small fortune on Orville Redenbacher’s stuff. So, when I hobbled off to the grocery store this morning (first time driving in three weeks, thanksverymuch), with my faithful assistant, Breanna the Wonderful (who’s sitting right here reading over my shoulder as I type this), I thought HEY! I CAN HAZ POPCORN TOO!
I bought a $2 one-pound bag of popcorn kernels, and a 50-count pack of paper lunch sacks - blessedly chemical-free paper sacks, I should point out. I was already saving money, because a 10-count box of Orville would have set me back $5.79. And that was the “on sale” price.
So here's how to make your own:
1/2 C popcorn kernels
1 tsp olive oil (you can probably use canola, but I prefer the taste of olive oil)
Blend these together in a bowl, and put them in a brown paper lunch sack. Fold the top over a couple of times so it's closed, set the bag on its flat bottom on a plate (so you don't have to clean oil out of your microwave later), and nuke for about five minutes. Watch your times - my microwave sucks, so I needed five minutes, but you should stop whenever the pops are a couple of seconds apart.
Remove from bag, top with your favorite popcorn topping, and taunt the dog.